Sudden Death

Yesterday was one of the worst days in my life ! a sudden death in PB’s family – PB’s 18 yrs old nephew passed away suddenly – unexpected – we still have no idea how he died yet and may never know I was told by his aunt. How? why? when? all these ran thru’ my mind the whole day. And even though I was smiling and tending to our customers at the store – I can’t helped but think of Nick and if there was something we could’ve done to prevent this?

We saw him last summer and he was such a nice boy – although I sense a bit trouble but hey! which teenager doesn’t have some right? So I let it go and minded my own business – for I’m known to be outspoken and being a busybody and nosey. Should I have offered him a job here at our store and kept him close ? so many things are going thru’ my mind right now. Look at how handsome this young man was! my heart hurt a lot ! I can’t imagine what his parents are going thru’ – what about his brothers? Oh Nick! I wished you could have reached out to someone and talked with someone and get help.

I’m taking a lesson from this – and must remember to be diligent with Chloe – teenage years are harder than we think – or have gone thru’ ourselves. 18 yrs is a long and hard time to bring up a child and lose him over night. I never wished this upon any parents! Oh God! please help me to be a diligent mom, give me patience with my daughter. Remind me to make time for Chloe always. RIP Nick! RIP ! we’ll always remember you and love you!

More Friends Found On FB

Like I said before Facebook is a pretty awesome thing – you can find some people that you’ve known in the past and get in touch with them again. But do all of us wanna get in touch with the past? I saw some of my church friends on FB a few days ago – from during my teenage years and was tempted to get in contact with them again. But after reading their profile I decided not to – because they are still very strong in going to church and every word that comes out from there mouth would be – “Praise the Lord!”. Don’t get me wrong – I have nothing against people attending church and all and I do believe in God. But i’m not the same person I was some 30 yrs ago – and follow the word and His way that much.

There are just some things in the past – that are better left in the past – like I once said. My so-called “bestie” from church some 30 yrs ago – moved to Ohio – and when i asked her which part of Ohio – she replied “ohio” – and she never once wrote to me – when she was there. So I’m guessing although I treated her like a “bestie” she didn’t feel the same for me when i was a kid. So should I write her a message? will she think that i’m stalking her? hahahahha!!! nah ! i rather not stalk anyone – just knowing that they are well is good enough for me eh.

Farewell, Mrs Lee

As I sit and watch the video on the eulogies read by Mrs Lee’s family and then the one by MM Lee and his farewell – when they were saying their last goodbye – MM Lee kissed Mrs Lee twice before moving away from the coffin sadly – it really touched me deeply. How many can have a relationship like our MM Lee and Mrs Lee? I envy and I feel really, really sad for MM Lee – must be a huge lost to him – losing his confidante, counsel and life-long partner.

Mrs Lee was an extraordinary woman – I don’t think a lot of woman today – can measure up to her. Like MM Lee said without Mrs Lee – he wouldn’t be the man he is today – and maybe, just maybe – Singapore wouldn’t be where it is today either. But what i respect most – was how Mrs Lee not only held her own career, helped MM Lee and still was the best mother and grandmother for her family and even took care of our present PM’s kids when their mother past away.

I reflect on my own relationship – and even though I am not in Singapore – and migrated to Canada for more than 10 years now – I still keep a very close eye and tab on what’s going on in Singapore. I love my Singapore and I don’t want to give up my citizenship if I can help it. There are lots of one can learn from Mrs Lee and one of them is “quiet”. Yes ! I have to learn to be “quiet”. Farewell, Mrs Lee – you will always be my inspiration and I will always remember you.

When i Think Of The Good Times …

The bad ones comes along – have you heard of that before? hahah!! FB is a fantastic social networking tool – I’ll have to tell you. A few months ago, I not only found my childhood friend on FB by accident – just a few days ago – I found a cousin on FB. I also talk with my god-daughters on FB – although I’m not always on FB these days. But yes! i thought of connecting with my cousin – from my dad’s side of the family – but when I think of the good times we had as kids – the bad ones comes along as an adult. You see we were never closed – in fact the only memory of my cousins were when my grandmother was still alive and they would come visit my grandmother.

My cousins father was a meant man till he lost all his money in gambling. When he was broke – my mother came to his aid – and I still don’t understand why she did it – because we could ill-afford to help anyone. Anyhow – I gave it a lot of thought – and decided not to re-connect with them – and let old ties die there – afterall, I have my mother’s side of the family I’m closed with – so I’m not gonna dwell on the past.

U2

U2 is coming to Toronto !!! yes ! you heard me right! Ahhh..! talking about U2 brings back so many good memories. Yes ! I grew up listening to U2! and yes ! they have been around for a long time – 30 yrs. I was in my teens too when they started the band. Irish guys and so handsome ! we all went ga-ga over all of them. So who do I liked? Bono of course!! and he still looks so good now – at 50. Wished they were coming to Halifax in November instead of Toronto but for those who are in Toronto and want some U2 tickets, make sure get yours really early – coz’ i hear they are sold out on every concert. Dreamy, dreamy I am now – and plotting to get to Toronto if I can in November – afterall, you don’t get to go for U2 concerts every other month eh. And I leave you with this you-tube of one of their many good songs – bringing you back to yesteryear.

When I Fall In Love …

A few months ago – I happen to chance upon a childhood friend from 30 yrs ago – on Facebook. At first I wanted to add him onto my Facebook friend list but I stopped myself. Why? I checked out his info and pictures and his wall and he is happily married with 3 children and even though I haven’t seen him for a good 20 yrs – I don’t really know if his wife would like it very much. We were childhood friends and attended the same church together – I left to UK to finish my school and he left for USA to finish his. We kept in contact when we were in school – but I was really busy – trying to juggle work and school work – and usually he wrote more than I – we drifted apart.

When I arrived home to Singapore – he met me at the airport – with his fiancee (now his wife) – i guess to introduce us? And no – i wasn’t in love with him – we went out once ! hhahahah!! and I was only but 18 at that time. He wanted to hold my hands and I said no – hahahah! he was like a friend – more like my mother’s friend kid. My life at that time was pretty simple – i just wanted to finish school and survive but I knew at 18 – he wasn’t the man I wanted to fall in love with. Why? Too old-fashioned – too “chinese” with lots of old fashion ideas – like the wife needs to be able to cook and stay home after having kids – stuff like that.

So why I didn’t wanna connect with him? because I had told him – when i fall in love – it will be forever – and he wasn’t the right guy for me. Why he brought his fiancee to the airport to pick me up – hahahha!! i have no idea. But looking at his wife’s pictures now on his FB – i wonder if his wife is his mother or his wife? yes – she looks really oldddddddd… !! not being mean or anything – but i figured if we did connect – his wife might not like it so much. What do you think?

Happy Birthday, Singapore!

Tomorrow, my home country celebrates its 45th birthday – it’s easy to remember because that was the year i was born. And while my home country flourishes every year and become better and bigger and more famous – i ended up in a small town in Canada. Singapore has changed so much since i left 10 years ago. A girlfriend who was in New York for 10 days – told me she missed home so much – the minute she stepped into Changi International Airport – she had a plate of Nasi Lemak before going home – hahahhaha!!! I know how she felt – because that was what i did – but i had mee siam when i first came to Canada for 1.5 months.

Do i missed Singapore? that’s for sure ! the convenience of everything back home – the modernness and efficient government – plus a stable job if you wanna work. But having said all that – I know i would never turn the clock back and change coming to Canada – because i wouldn’t have Chloe if i did. I missed the food, the weather – good friends, cousins and a good job but where/what would i be if I didn’t become a mother? or if i am without Chloe? But that came with a price too of course, I’m not in the best of health here because I can’t get to eat the kind of food i am used to back home – I’m trying hard though. So for those who wants to migrate – think very carefully. Make sure you choose a place where there are lots of Asians – else you will end up like me – wanting to go home every other month. I would love to go home for a visit – soon – my Singapore – soon – i’ll come and see how beautiful you are.

Relationships

As I sit and admire my contemporary sofas in my tv room, i cannot helped but also admire the beautiful pictures of a friend – Alexis’s family outing in Vancouver with her beautiful family. You see, Alexis was someone I met thru’ PB’s buddy – they used to date and while they are no longer together -Alexis and I kept in contact. You see Alexis is a very wonderful and lovely looking lady from Singapore and I had took a instant liking for her when i first met her 10 yrs ago. As I look at her happy family – I cannot but feel a tinge of regret for PB’s buddy for not cherishing the relationship and things ended the way it did.

Relationships are hard and I admire the way Alexis ended it – even though they were together for a long time and have a kid together. Alexis is now married and has her own kids with her new husband and he looks like a wonderful person – he is from Sweden. I sometimes wonder if people from the West knows how tough it is for us to uproot just to be with them? do they even know – how much we miss home – the food, the weather, the shopping – everything just to be with them.

Relationships are hard – having a kid together doesn’t mean one must stay with someone who don’t appreciate you. I admire Alexis – for being so strong – even though at that time – she wasn’t with anyone – didn’t have a job and a kid to raise – she call it quits. I don’t know the whole story – but I know relationships are hard and for things to work – both gotta make lots of effort.

Chloe’s Birthday Party

We successfully celebrated Chloe’s 6th birthday at the bowling alley with the help of family and friends who attended the party. Chloe had a blast – the weather wasn’t the best – but it could have been worst.

Quite a few people came – and those who didn’t .. didn’t even call to say they weren’t coming – even though they had say they were – but no worries we still had a good time.

Chloe’s cake – she chose it herself and a friend’s sister made the awesome cake for her. Thank you .. Crystal..!!!

And this year.. it was special because Aunt Helena was in town – so was able to attend her birthday party.

The Wedding

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So PB’s first cousin got married a few days ago. When i first met them.. they were still kids in school. But i’ll have to say .. the twins are awesome kids.. and grew up to be awesome adults. I bet her parents are proud of her.. and when the pastor asked “who gives her hand in marriage” – her father replied, ” her mother and I” .. I wanna cry..!! I love weddings.. donch you ..??