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When I Fall In Love …

A few months ago – I happen to chance upon a childhood friend from 30 yrs ago – on Facebook. At first I wanted to add him onto my Facebook friend list but I stopped myself. Why? I checked out his info and pictures and his wall and he is happily married with 3 children and even though I haven’t seen him for a good 20 yrs – I don’t really know if his wife would like it very much. We were childhood friends and attended the same church together – I left to UK to finish my school and he left for USA to finish his. We kept in contact when we were in school – but I was really busy – trying to juggle work and school work – and usually he wrote more than I – we drifted apart.

When I arrived home to Singapore – he met me at the airport – with his fiancee (now his wife) – i guess to introduce us? And no – i wasn’t in love with him – we went out once ! hhahahah!! and I was only but 18 at that time. He wanted to hold my hands and I said no – hahahah! he was like a friend – more like my mother’s friend kid. My life at that time was pretty simple – i just wanted to finish school and survive but I knew at 18 – he wasn’t the man I wanted to fall in love with. Why? Too old-fashioned – too “chinese” with lots of old fashion ideas – like the wife needs to be able to cook and stay home after having kids – stuff like that.

So why I didn’t wanna connect with him? because I had told him – when i fall in love – it will be forever – and he wasn’t the right guy for me. Why he brought his fiancee to the airport to pick me up – hahahha!! i have no idea. But looking at his wife’s pictures now on his FB – i wonder if his wife is his mother or his wife? yes – she looks really oldddddddd… !! not being mean or anything – but i figured if we did connect – his wife might not like it so much. What do you think?

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Special Boys

Today we went all the way to Briar’s Lake to meet up with Chloe’s cousin from Ottawa. I am glad we went – because PB wasn’t too keen on going – because we had things at home to do – and housework to catch up on – plus he wanted to rest – i’m guessing – since Sunday is the only day – where we don’t have to work. But family is very important to me – I didn’t have cousins to grow up with – not because I didn’t have cousins – but our parents weren’t closed at all – due to hierarchy and who is rich and who isn’t. But over here – it didn’t matter if you were rich or poor – plus I also want Chloe to know her cousins – even though they are so far away – and don’t come often enough and we don’t go and visit either.

I haven’t seen Gabriel for a few years now and Xavier – well – i haven’t seen him at all. But both boys are so intelligent and so enjoyable to be with. I know Chloe had a good time and Renette – the boys’ grandmother is always so hospitable and warm. We had a great time – chatting and just catching up. So what did you do this weekend.

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Moms Going Back To Work

Some had asked me when I am going back to work – now that Chloe is almost 7 yrs old this December and I’ve given some serious thoughts about it. You see all my life I’ve held management jobs, whether I was a management trainee or a business center officer – they are all considered management – whereby i only report to the big boss. My last job a office manager to a Spanish firm was also a management job where i got to travel a lot with my bosses and engineers or the regional director. So you see – when people ask me if i am going back to get a “real” job – i often wonder what there is here for me – to work as.

Don’t get me wrong – I would do any kind of work – when the need arises – but if what I am doing now – makes the same amount of money – why would i need to go out and get a “real” job right? Now if I were home or in different part of the world – maybe things will be different? or if we move to the city? maybe it would be different? I enjoy my time with Chloe and being there for her – I enjoy being able to do what I want – when I want – but not without restriction – since being owner by association to the spouse’s business doesn’t really quite seems to be what people think. And yes – if an opportunity arises – and an offer is placed in front of me – or my ex-bosses called to ask me to go work for them – I would even travel overseas to work – if the pay is right and the remuneration package meets my entire family needs. But for those moms going back to work – I feel the same way you do – all the anxiety of leaving your kids on their own – and having to fit in again – with the younger generation and all the new technology – you have to get use to. But yes – as moms – we all know we can do anything – if we put our mind to it and if you are anything like me and keep yourself up to date – then you are all set. And to moms going back to work – I salute you all – because you are the greatest!

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Monkey See Monkey Do

So yesterday after dinner – as usual – the kid would play on her own while i go do the dishes – but she stopped me because she wanted to show me something – so she said. And like any good parents – we stayed and watched her. So she had this rectangular box and she started putting stuff in it and stuffing them in and knocking it around and closing it up and then pushing a pencil out. And then she turned around and said – “See i’m helping grampie!” “roll eyes” – yes ! the kid was helping her grampie roll cigarettes!

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The Sentimental Child

Summer is almost over for the kids – another few more weeks and they go back to school. Chloe saw her childhood friend once this year – and although she was looking forward to him joining her summer camp – she also kinda hope they would get together sometime. Unfortunately, he didn’t show up at her camp and she kept asking why? we didn’t wanna impose on his parents by calling – obviously – they have good reasons why he wasn’t in camp. So we tried to explain to Chloe that he must be busy or something else came up. Yes, she is quite sentimental and even though we don’t see much of her childhood friend these days – because both his parents are very busy now – with work and home obligations – she still long to play with him.

Anyhow, our sentimental child made some new “best” friends in camp this week – we are very happy and proud of her. Hopefully, with these new friendship – she will go again to camp next year and hopefully our sentimental girl will grow up to be a sensible one – because she doesn’t really pursue the matter about her childhood friend anymore. Being sentimental is good – but being obsessive – now that is a different story eh.

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Tech Savvy Kids

Kids are so smart these days – I wonder where they get their smartness from. A friend of Chloe’s came by the store the other day after reading some desktop computer reviews, for they were thinking of getting a computer for their kids too. So knowing that Chloe has one at home too – they had come by to ask our opinion/s about what to get for theirs.

PC or desktops are quite the common thing at anyone’s home – Chloe had her own computer because we didn’t want to share ours with her. And I’m sure a lot of parents out there too – bring their work home and is understandable. Now what you put inside the computer or how much you want to spend on it – depends on how old your kid is. These day – you can get a computer for less than $400 – but of course, if you have an older kid – who is into gaming or forsee that – then you should plan ahead and get one that is upgradable. The rams and hard-drive also depends on what the kid/s wants to do with their computer – do they watch movies or download music – or do they need a burner for school work. The younger the kid – the less you should spend – and if you were anything like us – we would get a used one or a re-furbished one. Chloe’s computer came with parts that were used – only the computer’s case was new. So there – you have it from a el cheapo mom.

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Getting Ready For School

I know – it’s only the 12th and it’s but a month away – but i guess the “asian” mentality – although having been in Canada for 10 yrs now – i still very much believe in getting everything ready before it’s too late and we might miss out on something. So a few weeks ago – PB and I set out to Walmart with Chloe and picked up all her school stuff – from pencils to files and even new shoes. So that’s all done – i’m now debating on whether i should order some fancy labels for her. I know it is not necessary – afterall, who label their pencils right? not like she is in an elite school and a marker which cost less than $1 was good enough to label her book bags and shoes for the last few years.

But that’s not all we are doing to get Chloe ready for school – we are also preparing her for next year’s syllabus – like addition and subtraction and going thru’ a list of words we got from the school website to familiarize her with them. The good thing is she said she misses her school routine – so emotionally we are all set? One can only hope eh! crossed our fingers and crossed our toes! so are you and your kids ready for school yet? yes, i too have to prepare myself for school and not be over-zealous and do the unnecessary (if you know what i mean).

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Slide Show Of Home

While I was enjoying a day at the park with ducks – Chloe had asked me more about home and my parents. I thought of a slide show that I can make for Chloe and decided to do it – to let her know abit more about my parents/siblings and more about where I come from. I gave it a little more thought – as to what I want to show Chloe and thought about my mom and Chloe. You see – Chloe and I are brought up quite differently – Chloe’s childhood if shown on a slide show to her grandchildren in the future would be nothing but happy memories – where else mine wasn’t so much like that.

While i grew up with a screaming mom – who would cane us in public – Chloe has never been harshly dealt with in her entire life. But do I want to show her a slide show of my childhood with so many bad memories? of a childhood without a parent or grandparents to love? A childhood without any toys nor bed to sleep on? I only started to have a decent life after i turned 26 – when i decided that I didn’t want the past to hold me back. That was when my life changed – for the better – but how do i tell my child – who is currently so curious to know who my parents were? I don’t even really know my own father – for he was never home – my slide show for my childhood – is but a very short memory to me. It is a past – i rarely want to remember but it gets trigger back once in a while.

As much as I would love to tell Chloe the whole truth – i feel that she is still very young to understand – my past. For now – I’m putting together a simpler slide show of my past for her – a simplified version just for now. I’m just happy that Chloe’s slide show – of her childhood will be a so much happier and blessed one – for her dad and grandparents are nothing like mine.

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Happy Birthday, Singapore!

Tomorrow, my home country celebrates its 45th birthday – it’s easy to remember because that was the year i was born. And while my home country flourishes every year and become better and bigger and more famous – i ended up in a small town in Canada. Singapore has changed so much since i left 10 years ago. A girlfriend who was in New York for 10 days – told me she missed home so much – the minute she stepped into Changi International Airport – she had a plate of Nasi Lemak before going home – hahahhaha!!! I know how she felt – because that was what i did – but i had mee siam when i first came to Canada for 1.5 months.

Do i missed Singapore? that’s for sure ! the convenience of everything back home – the modernness and efficient government – plus a stable job if you wanna work. But having said all that – I know i would never turn the clock back and change coming to Canada – because i wouldn’t have Chloe if i did. I missed the food, the weather – good friends, cousins and a good job but where/what would i be if I didn’t become a mother? or if i am without Chloe? But that came with a price too of course, I’m not in the best of health here because I can’t get to eat the kind of food i am used to back home – I’m trying hard though. So for those who wants to migrate – think very carefully. Make sure you choose a place where there are lots of Asians – else you will end up like me – wanting to go home every other month. I would love to go home for a visit – soon – my Singapore – soon – i’ll come and see how beautiful you are.

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Of Strange Pets

We don’t really have a pet for Chloe – except for her beta fish – which she calls Goldie – even though the fish isn’t gold in color. But of late – Chloe had been asking for some strange pets – last week she came home with a few worms from her grandparents place and she begged to keep it. I finally agreed and when we got home – she even brought the worms to introduce the worms to her pet goldie and showed the worms all around the house – LOL! A few weeks ago – she came home with a snail and also a ladybug – yes – all she loved and cried when they died. I had wanted to get her a dwarf rabbit to be placed at her grammie’s place – but they had no time for the rabbit – so we had to scrap the idea – maybe next year – maybe then she won’t ask for strange pets – hahaha!