Category: Brat Stuff

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East Meets West Upbringing Of A Child

I have to constantly remind myself that there is cultural difference between PB’s upbringing and our Chinese upbringing and our values.  Today is Tuesday and Grammie didn’t come to the store like she would – probably because she didn’t have a ride to town.  And since Chloe didn’t go to Grammie’s on Sunday because of a birthday party and didn’t go the week before because Grammie was busy – that means she didn’t really get to spend any quality time with her grandparents.

In our chinese culture, it’s important to let the grandchildren visit their grandparents and let the kids bond with their grandparents.  To me when I had Chloe – I had this beautiful dream of Chloe growing up with loving grandparents and spending lots of time with them – shopping, going around town and doing stuff together.  But alas, that did not happened – for the first 6 – 7 yrs of Chloe’s life – she wouldn’t visit her grandparents without us around.   Now that she would – her grandparents are very busy themselves – because they have to work and they do have a life of their own too.

Of course, I understand that and had come to terms with the fact that Western grandparents do not expect what the Eastern grandparents would want and expect us to do.  But it’s Chloe who doesn’t understand why her Grammie didn’t come visit and even though we explained to her many times – she still feel sad everytime she doesn’t visit for a few hours – or when she doesn’t get to visit her grandparents. I’ve  brought Chloe up to be a very loving child – if you’ve met her personally, you would know that she is friendly and loving to just about anyone.   She can give a tour of the house to her father’s friend – without the other person asking, so I figured she must feel sad whenever her grammie doesn’t visit when she is supposed to.  *sigh*.

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Tiger Mom I Am Not

And I’m so ashamed of it!  Reading Amy Chua’s book – Battle Hymn of A Tiger Mom makes me think of all the things that I should have make Chloe do instead of giving her so much choice.  After all, what do kids know right?   – mothers should know best as we were raised to believe.  And even though I suspect my mother’s screaming, bashing, threats and belittling wasn’t the same intentions as  Amy Chua’s – mothers should know best and a 8 yrs old don’t know what is best for her.

My outlaws and brother-in-law thinks that I’m strict with Chloe – but wait till they read Amy Chua’s book then they would learn to appreciate me and know how lenient I am with Chloe.   So lenient that I regret some of the things I didn’t do with Chloe or make her do it because of my own upbringing.  You see my mom was a wee bit crazy when it comes to the screaming – quite embarrassing when you lived in such closed proximity with your neighbors and unlike Amy Chua – she didn’t helped me to study nor hire a tutor for me to help me with my poor subjects. And again I was left to fend for myself at an early age – and my mom loved to cane us publicly, so that other people would say that we are taught well – whether we are in the right or wrong – we are at the receiving end of the cane.  And my good for nothing dad would make us take off our pants, bend over and he would cane us – till we were quite old.  about 12 yrs old I think if I am not wrong.  I hated every bit of the teaching – so much so that I got very soft with Chloe.

I didn’t want to become my parents but neither should I be over – protective either – so with Amy Chua’s book – I’m encourage that a little bit more of a Tiger Mom than I am now.  I really have to believe that Chloe can do more than what she is doing now – so I’ve started drilling her with more homework and reading at home.  I’ve also started on spelling with her even though her school haven’t yet asked that she learn how to spell.  And I’m proud to say that it didn’t take much for her to remember how to spell certain words.  She loved to read and I’m going to spend more time reading with her from now on – and we really need to work on her math – she doesn’t like big numbers I tell you that much.   One thing for sure – my kid will be brought up a lot differently from the kids we know around us.

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Assume Strength In Our Kids

As a child, I’ve always had to fend for myself in school, at home and very quickly I learned that I cannot really count on my parents to be my champion.  My dad was never home and my mom was too busy with work or too tired after work to listen to whatever problems that I might be encountering in school or at home with my siblings.  So with Chloe, I am extra careful – and making sure that she wasn’t alone or had to face problems on her own.

But on the other hand, I realized that I am raising a kid that needed help with everything and I’ve turned into a helicopter mom.   Throwing the kid out in the open and letting her fend for herself also isn’t what I want to do but I also don’t want to raise my kid to be a wuss.  If you remember correctly, Chloe was painfully shy in school and even when she was bullied in school, she refused to stand up for herself nor tell her teachers about it.  And because of her earlier bad experienced with a little boy in her second school – I became a little more paranoid when it came to Chloe’s safety.

Yesterday, Chloe told me about a problem with her school mate – and that she had already spoken up about it with the teacher – so she had already taken care of the problem herself – I’m so proud of her – she is 8 years old this year.  This morning, I asked her if she needed for me to speak with her teacher again about the same issue and she told me – ” no mom! I’ve already taken care of the problem”  – my daughter is a stronger girl now !  after being in school for a few years and much, much encouragement on our side – she finally stood up for herself and don’t need me to hover over her – I’m a very proud mama!   I’ve never doubted that Chloe would stand up for herself one day – I know that it will come when it come.   But I also have to learn that my kid is stronger than I think she is and letting her make mistakes and fight for herself is alright.

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Rounding Up 2011

A round up for 2011 – since it’s coming so closed to the end of the year.  So what have I done right or wrong for 2011 – what are my achievements for 2011.  Well, I started out wanting to be a healthier me – in 2011 and started with going to the dentist – but instead of making me smile – a few hundred dollars later – I came home with a few months of pain in the exact teeth that I had a filling – that wasn’t even bugging me.

Far forward a few months – summer came – Chloe finished her Grade 1 with good results but still having trouble with standing up for herself.  And this summer Chloe started playing with the neighborhood kids – and on the trampoline as well.  She had a great time doing that but not without a lot of getting used to – to other kids and compromising.    She went to day camp every day because she liked it a lot and had a good summer.  We only went out of town twice – this year – because the store had been so busy. Work wise at the store and myself – it had been a great year.  This year my regular advertisers were great to me and  i had a lot more private advertisers than I did last year.

Health wise – I’m still struggling to lose weight – and stay healthy but I have to work harder next year.  I also took control of my online life and gave up some games and some friends online – best moved I’ve made.  I didn’t have time for the online games (fb or mahjong) – nor did I have time to take care of others (because I started taking pills for my anxiety attacks).  I spent a lot more time with Chloe and helping her with doing well in school and reading especially.  I also took care of the house and myself a lot more than I did when I was taking care of others.  This year – Chloe did well in school and socially, I made more friends than I did in my entire life both online and offline – spent more time with friends from here – and gotten a friend to help out at the store in May and it is still working perfectly well – no stress ! thank God!   This year I got more involved with the things happening around downtown and this town.  This year things had to change because I had to set my priority right and I’m glad I did what I did – because some people are never happy with the good things that is happening in your life.  The business tripled its sale from the previous years and we had more customers come thru’ our door more than the last few years.  We also ate more often out – and going to different places to try different food around town and a little ways out of town.

This year had been a great year – despite a few unpleasant things – I count my blessings.  What about you?

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Believing In Santa

Christmas is finally over and as usual – I have a very happy kid – and every year on Christmas morning – I see more and more difference in Chloe – she has definitely grown but she didn’t lose her innocence at all.  Why?  while her friends keep tell her that there is no Santa – Chloe strongly believes that there is one.  And I’m happy about it – I certainly don’t want her to be growing up so quickly and not believed in fairy tales and tooth fairies and the magic of Christmas.  Some kids in Chloe’s school are all so grown up and so persistent in telling Chloe that there isn’t a Santa Claus – I feel bad for these kids for some are even younger than Chloe.   Kids should have a bit of magic in their life as long as they can – don’t you think?

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Christmas Eve 2011

Christmas eve came and went – and I woke up very tired the next morning because the kid didn’t wanna sleep on the eve and woke up extremely early on Christmas day excited to open her presents.  We didn’t get to bed will almost 4am last night because Chloe kept waking up asking if it was time yet – or if Santa came yet.  So it took us some time to wrap up all the presents we got for her and those from Santa.   But it’s finally over and another 364 days to Christmas again !

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Helping Out With Christmas Wrapping

If anything – Chloe is never too lazy to help us out to do anything – from dishes to taking down movie tags at the store – so PB wanted her to help out to wrap her grammie and grampie’s presents for Christmas.  She was very happy indeed and did a very good job.  I guess at 8 years old she can do pretty much anything albeit not perfect but who cares right?  The lesson learned here is never to refuse a child when he or she wants to help.  Unlike my mom – she was never happy with us helping her sweep or mop the floor – hahahha!! she either accused us of lying about the chore or doing it again herself – so we practically gave up. I never want my child to feel the way we felt with when I was young, Chloe need not prove anything to us at all.

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Organic Skin Care For Kids

Found some organic skin care for Chloe at the supermarket the other day – but they were old stock I think.  Parked right at the back of the store – I think I’m going to check out the health store instead.  I’m trying to look out for skin care lotion for kids for Chloe and a friend who is a beauty blog expert recommended some brands to me – I can’t find it in our local pharmacy – so I’m going to try the health store instead tomorrow.

We never used to use anything except Johnson baby lotion – and we do the same for Chloe but I think she is old enough to use other things but I don’t want anything but natural stuff for her.  After all, you don’t want to try her skin like a mature skin right?   Wished me luck, you know how ulu this place is – they have some stuff but not all.

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My Baby Turned 8 Today

Yes!  Chloe turned 8 yrs old today – but she is down with a cold and fever – slight one – thank God!   She has grown so tall and so smart – I cannot asked for more.  8 yrs ago today – I gave birth to her in Yarmouth Regional Hospital – she was 7 pounds 1 ounce – a healthy baby with a head full of hair.  The doctor who delivered her was a doctor from out of town, Dr Macbeth – after my C- section – I lost a lot of blood but it was worth it  Chloe brings so much joy to us – and she makes us so happy!  I thank God everyday for her.  All I wish for her is to be healthy always and to grow up with integrity.  Thank you everyone who have been with us for as long as Chloe was born – I started this blog to journal her upbringing and I never looked back.

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Chloe’s Concert 2011

Chloe had her concert in the church today and her grammie and grampie came too !  which was a good thing because she wanted so much for them to see her on the stage.  The kids were so cute – I tell yer – they grow so fast.

PS :  now if you see your kid’s picture on this blog and you don’t want them to be – just let me know – don’t need to get crazy ok.