Category: Brat Stuff

Hi, everyone – my name is MB and I’m a helicopter mom – hahahha!!! funny ..?? i’m sure some of you are now wondering if you are a helicopter mom as well right ..?? Hahha!! fear not.. because as parents – it is our duty to be able to see the truth and admit that this is what we are. Unlike our forefathers, we never admits when they are obviously wrong or made the wrong decision – modern parenting is liberal. We like to be in a learning process and who isn’t right .. ?? in everything we do .. on a daily basis.

I met a parent in Blue Cross North Carolina, who claimed and self professes that she loves her kids with her life and would never do anything wrong by her kids or by anyone. Now when you hear someone talk this way, I would steer clear of this person – hahahha!!! self-righteousness does not sit well with me .. when it comes to parenting.

Anyhow, lets come back to me.. being a helicopter mom. Yes – I have to admit that .. and yes.. i hover over my lil’ brat every chance i get. And even though i want her to learn to be independent – i still send Kate with her to the playground and to the summer camp. Is it wrong to be a helicopter mom..??? like all parents and parenting – in my humble opinion .. no one is right or wrong and nothing is by the book. Certain methods works for one parent but not for another – certain child does good by a certain way and others by another. But having said all the above, a helicopter mom like myself needs to be careful what message i’m sending to my child.

Experts claimed that this trend of hyper-parenting does not go well with the current trend. And over the last 20 yrs or so hyper-parenting is the norm here in the West but it is the same as in the East. I’ve friends who are exactly like myself – so donch beat yourself up if you identify with me.

Why the birth of the bubble..?? I think it’s because we grew up in the era of the more relaxed parenting or rather our parents were very busy at work and trying to put food on the dinner table. So we were left to our own devices and we were told to play outside until the sky turns dark. We pretty much invented our own games and work things out ourselves with our peers, there were no intervention like the ones we do for our kids now.

By the 90s, families are getting smaller – ppl don’t have as many kids like our parents or even forefathers did. They had more money to spend on toys for their kids and with more documented kidnapping and child abuse, there came the era of stay at home moms. Working moms competing with the stay at home moms for the perfect formula to a brighter kid and greater future for our kids.

It is definitely easy to say .. that mothers or parenting should be a relaxing one and when they are ready to do it.. they would. Do I want to be the kind of parent who bragged about my kid and ignore bad behavior because of my hyper-parenting? Bursting the bubbles is hard – but letting go a bit at a time – I can do it. Giving my brat some basis rules and then allowing her to explore, have fun and be herself is important. Although, my kid would never go to the store alone at 5.5 yrs old – I think that is pretty alright.

As Chloe grows older day by day, we also learn different things as parents. But like all new parents – we consider ourselves new .. because she is our only child .. and we never had the experience nor expertise .. in bringing up another kid.. nor were educated for it – it is amazing how much we learn from this child of ours.. and how much we want to better ourselves to teach her the best and the right thing.

As awesome as any kid can be.. i’m sure – parents do not want to admit that their kid can turn into a brat just overnite.. and our chloe can be.. if she wants to be. But like any kid who is 5.5yrs old, one need to realise.. that it is all a learning experience for her too. A child do not know how to express themselves appropriately, they only know how to show how they are feeling truthfully albeit it may not be the best way or the correct way. That’s why God created parents donch you think..??

Being the only child can sometimes be hard because she is so protected – hell we even send her to day camp with her babysitter. So if she was a sore loser, that can be understandable.. but that does not mean that it should carry on. So when Chloe only wanted to win in everything whether a game with the sitter or a game with a friend who was visiting, we told her that she cannot be a sore loser. In which her respond was .. ” WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA …!!!! Jenny said i was a sore loser too..!!!”

Alrighty..!!! so we know we had to steer my kid into the right direction and the right response from us is very important at this stage. I bet many of you know where i’m coming from eh and in fact asked yourselves .. what demon actually possessed your kid .. at that moment.. right..?? hahhahahaha!!! fear not..!! for experts said it is normal behavior for a child as young as ours.

So what do you do..?? you asked yourself..?? when you child have an outburst or blow up..?? steer clear your clear of competitive situation..?? or give your child a treat.. and distract them..?? Banning games or distracting them or not encouraging competition are all not good ideas – our job as parents is to teach them to express respectfully and the younger you start, the better it is. It is recommended that you empathise and ask if they need an alone time to cry and to cool off, talk to them about a more appropriate way to express themselves. Allowing both kids to win by yelling “Tie!” is also another alternative and explaining to your kid that both can win even if they come in second and their friend first. All the positive re-enforcement .. eh..?? Focus on pointing out the good stuff, like “that was a nice move!” or “good try!” and always make sure that you tell your kid .. having a good time and good sportmanship is more important than winning .. and by the time they are older.. they will know that winning feels good.. but even if you donch win, it’s alright..! they had fun.. and that’s what matters most. I hope my experience help others…. therefore i’m penning it down. Good luck..!!! and no… your kid is not evil..! hahhahahaha!!!