Like any good parents you want to nurture your kid and teach them the best you know how and also go beyond and above your own self righteousness to recognize what is the right thing for your kids. So if the brat loves painting, we encourage her to paint. She wants to paint on paper, we buy her paper; if she wants to paint on a glass shelf in the store, we said yes as long as it is the side that doesn’t block the display for our customers.
You also give her a stool so that she is comfy when she is doing it, and some paint and brushes and water and paper towels. But of course she has to do it quietly and not paint beyond that piece of glass panel that we allowed her to paint. We are also prepared to help her clean up, but she has to clean up on her own too when she is done because we want to teach her responsibility and we want to teach her that the world does not revolve around her alone.
As a parent it is easy to want to do everything for your kids, but time and again we have to remind ourselves to step back and let her do her thing. Give her the freedom, enjoy her creativity and of course encourage and tell her it’s alright if she didn’t paint it just right – it doesn’t have to be perfect as long as she tries and gives it her best.
As parents it is in our instincts to protect our own and jump and claw at anyone who might suggest that your kid is less than perfect. But wait a minute; are you doing it because you are insecure? Or are you really protecting them? Chloe has been obsessed lately with one kid in her class, it seems she wants to seek approval from this kid, and she talks of her a lot even after school. She would say things like ” Jenny says polka dots isn’t pretty” or “Jenny said I’m not Hannah Montana” or sometimes she would even say “Jenny squashed my face 2 times today”. So like any good parents we assured her we would talk to Jenny and the teacher.
But wait a minute, while you are doing that are you also monitoring your own kid? It’s easy to see the fault of another kid, right? Afterall, our kid is always an “ANGEL” NOT! It’s hard to admit that your kid isn’t an angel either because they are kids. And like any good parents you have to realize it and not fuel that “little tiff” they seems to be having with someone or other. Why? Because your angel might think that this is the way the world should be, that everyone must like her or else THE LIGHTNING GOD!
You and I know the world is not this way and the sooner you explain it and put the right message across to your kid – the sooner the bratty behavior will stop.
So today, when Chloe said “Jenny did this and that” I told her that the next time she wants to talk about Jenny she should do it in front of Jenny, that way Jenny can defend herself and explain her side of things. I’m sure I told Chloe that Jenny’s mother may have a word or two for Chloe too. And guess what? She stopped talking about Jenny. Like I said, as a parent it is up to me to do right by my own kid because what we teach them now is what they are going to be in the future.
If I had continued to let Chloe go on and on and condone her behavior, what kind of teenager or young adult will my kid be in the future? One who is engrossed with petty stuff? Or a well rounder who can be nonchalant about nonsense? Before you speak to another parent or kid it’s important that you do the right thing by your kid first – because no matter how young or old your kid is, what you teach her or him is going to impact them for the rest of their lives. If you think that your petty thinking isn’t going to grow on your kids, and turn their minds and thoughts into undesirable characters, as good parents we better think again. Of course, bad parents don’t have to think. You want what is best for your kid but if you want your kid to be known as a fighter cock or a sore loser or a crazy son-in-law or daughter in law, go right ahead and teach them to belittle other people or beat up their boyfriends so that they would be good to them. Good parenting begins at birth, good parenting begins with you the parent, good parenting never stops. It is ok to teach your kid that not everyone needs to like them and it’s ok to teach your kid to be the bigger person. It’s also ok to teach your kid not to sweat the small stuff. But wait a minute, don’t be disillusioned and take it that your kid is never wrong because good parents nurture, encourage, compliment and most importantly know how to not fight with another kid because you are the PARENT! You have to teach your own first, after all, isn’t your kid’s welfare the most important here? And remember, your actions speak a lot about yourself too. Lesson to be learned by yours truly.