We all love our kids.. and we all wanna do what is best for our kids. But hold your horses.. when you think that what works for you .. will work for yours. Like myself, I love to know things in advance.. but that doesn’t mean that it is the best for Chloe as I’ve come to find out from time to time. Even the best intentioned moms can be wrong – like me loving to use Medifast coupons but not for others – but donch beat yourself up.
An example of what happened is this – I’ve always thought that it was best to prepare chloe for any changes or transitions coming up like a dental appt or a doctor’s appt or even a birthday party was the best thing for the child. But I found out that it was actually a mental torture for her – because she would be so worried about the event the minute i tell her.. that she would anticipate that she was gonna be sick or she would be worried about the toilet issue she had before. It seems like the more warning and preparation she had, the more time she had to get worked up for them.
So we tried something else, and instead of preparing her way in advance.. we just hopped into the car .. and told her about it in the car and make light of the whole event. Yes, she did have a few minutes of being stressed but it was definitely much better than a few days of anxious anticipation.
However, I have to stressed that this approach does not work for everybody or every child. Temperament certainly does affect a child’s ability to deal with surprises or changes and different temperaments requires different approaches. For some children little or minimal warning work well, others need more time to prepare themselves. It is often trial and error on the parent’s part to suit your child’s personality.
One also have to remember that children are way smarter than we care to give them credit for. Their concerns about changes and planned events are not based on their own fears but on the feelings they are picking up from the parents. So be careful what kind of vibes you are sending to your kids. And i can prove this .. because if you meet PB .. and see his nonchalant manner.. when he deals with an “ignorant” customer/s – and you look at his parents.. you will understand why. Because unlike myself, PB is the “whateverrrrr” type and in many ways, i hope Chloe will be this way. What about you ..??