Category: Family/From the Heart

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Words Can Wound

So Chloe came home from Grammie’s last nite – all tired and excited – she said she loves going to her Grammie’s and we had told her we were very proud of her – in which she replied – “so did you get your work done?” “is it because I’m not annoying you?” Well, that took us by surprised ! because we must have said something to Chloe to make her think that she was an annoyance or like eczema. So parents – we have to be very careful what we portray to our kids and what we say to our kids – what we said – or think at that point of time when we did say something to our kids – may not really sit well with them. Or if you think they don’t get hurt by words because they are too young to understand hurt – well you are wrong.

Kids mainly aim to please and Chloe is not any different – she would act silly or if we were laughing at some stuff she was doing – she would keeping doing it again and again to make us laugh. I strongly believed that kids grow up to be what their parents are – you are a great influence to your kids if you don’t know this by now. If you were being mean or petty to your in-laws or siblings – your kids are gonna do the same to theirs. So be watchful with your actions and words because words can wound the gentle heart.

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Different Kids Different Pace

Chloe had been in her new school for 2 days now – so far so good – crossed our fingers. She claimed that there were no orange cards nor red cards like her previous school – I think this is making Chloe a lot happier because there is no stress there. Before, she is afraid of everything in her old school. We asked her – what about the naughty kids in class? what does the teacher do? Chloe claimed that there were no naughty kids thus far and we were not the least bit surprised because Chloe’s old school did have a reputation for naughty kids (kids comes from different background and brought up differently – we guessed).

This year – we also noticed how Chloe loves to write – previously – she just wouldn’t wanna recognized words nor attempt to do anything with them. This year – she writes a lot better – even better than I .. hahhaha!! so yes – different kids have different pace and as parents we need to know that and not get pushed into something the school wants of our kids when they are not ready.

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Growing Up With Chloe

I sometimes read some of the other bloggers’ going on and on about their kids and think about my own. I count my lucky star – that Chloe is unlike some I’ve read and come across personally. Sure, she can be a brat at times – but she is afterall a kid eh? so you can’t expect her to behave any other way – even adults throw tantrums and misbehaved.

But growing up with Chloe has been a joy – seriously ! she is so sensible in so many ways – just like yesterday – she helped us fold the laundry – sure it wasn’t done the best but hey! she is only 6 yrs old! She even tried to fold the tuxedos and was pretty gung-ho about doing it right. Some parents tend to compare their kids with others – and I sometimes slipped and do the same – but we have to stop ! like right now! and enjoy our kid as they are. Nevermind, if your best friend’s kid can read the entire book or spell like 100 words at 3 yrs old – it doesn’t matter ! what matters is your kid is happy and carefree – and most importantly healthy! So moms !! enjoy your kids ! and embrace them ! embrace every inch of them and how their quirkiness.

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Kid’s Allowance

So I’ve been wondering of late, should we give Chloe an allowance to help her understand the value of money just like we women need our women vitamins, it will come sooner or later. But at what age is the right age? as of today, Chloe had never asked for an allowance, neither had she talked about money too – nor begged for anything to be bought for her when we are out shopping. We definitely lucked in on that – that’s for sure.

She has a pretty good head on the shoulder too, because just last week when she lost her tooth and got a $5 from the tooth fairy, she only spent half of it – and put the other half into her piggy bank for her college fund. Yes, she said that herself – muahahahah!! We rarely spend a lot of money in front of Chloe nor do we make known to her that we can afford a lot of luxuries – maybe that’s the reason why she never asked for a lot. She seems like a pretty self – contented girl. So yes, which comes back to my question, since she never asked for an allowance – do i start her on it – just because we wanna teach her the value of money and give her a headstart?

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Small Town

So we had quite a week here, which actually started in December, where our ferry link from USA – Maine to our town was canceled abruptly. Yesterday, even after a rally in the city with representatives from all over Nova Scotia to plead with the Premier and other officers in charge came to a dead end. The Premier office wouldn’t budged. We are not directly affected but the nonsense that came with this ferry thing and the letter by our own town councilor trying to kiss butts with the Premier sure sent me fuming. What good is a town councilor when he goes and do his own thing to try and be part of the “old boys”? It really made me sick to my stomach – I know politics is dirty – but even for such a small town and someone whom I had elected..?? time to get some moving quotes I said to the spouse because what hope is there – no airlines, no ferries – what next? they gonna dig out the highway?

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Family Bonding

I never had much of a family if you didn’t know by now. My dad was never much at home – maybe once a year – not even during chinese new year – and my mom well – she was very much into the boys/brothers. So when I met PB online – he used to comfort me and said .. his parents will be my parents – that was very sweet of him eh.

Chloe is a very loving girl – in fact the older she gets – the closer she is with her grandparents – which had been my plan all along. Family bonding is very important to me for Chloe – more important than PB getting use to the project management software he just bought and playing constantly with. I have to constantly remind him and myself that Chloe isn’t gonna be this young forever because I remember how much i used to envy my neighbour’s family or my school mates ones.

If I had to drop everything to be with Chloe – I would – no doubt about it – if you don’t think it will affect them you better think about it .. because till today – i still think about how little time my parents had for me. It’s a constant regret for me.. that I never got to know my parents well enough nor give them enough hugs because they don’t practice nor encourage it. Therefore, with Chloe – she is a totally different story. What about you and your kids..?? don’t let them grow up thinking that their parents didn’t care too much about them eh.

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Upbringing Differences

When I was growing up – watching my classmates parents hovering over them and bringing them lunch and snacks – makes me so inferior because my mom could never do that – because my mom was a working mom. My mom don’t even have time for day creams, much less try and go to school and peep at me during recess them. I’ve always thought that with my own kid, I am gonna do all the things that my mom couldn’t do for me – not of any fault of hers of course. But you see things are quite the different now – these days the school and teachers do not encourage the parents to be helicopter moms at all. Coming to school to watch your kid – does not make your kid a “special” kid – in fact – she could be taunted and laughed at for being such a baby.

But i’m not ashamed to let her teachers and principal know that I’m a helicopter mom – because that was the way i wasn’t brought up – and because of that – I don’t want to miss out on things that my mom missed out. I not only wanna be there when she wins a trophy – i wanna be there for everything. The school may have their rules and expectation but Chloe was brought up quite differently – she is a girl who tells me .. yer’re too awesome mom..!! just because i let her have an extra piece of chocolate.

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Grouchy Much DaddT?

Chloe doesn’t know how to spell Daddy – but she knows how to spell Dad – so if she wanted to write a note to Daddy – she spells it DadT – pretty creative eh..?? I thought so too. Chloe is a delightful child – I cannot ask for anything more but for good health for the kid. Of course, she can be a pain at times – but which kid isn’t eh..?? I try to explain to “ang moh” that his tone when he talks to the kid must not sound like he has joint pain, because that would only make the kid thinks that he is either upset, mad or worst – make her feel like she is a pain.

A kid will always be a kid – and if he/she doesn’t misbehave once in a while – you better be very careful because deep down inside – psychologically, i bet there is something wrong.. hahahha!! I lose it sometimes too.. but the kid knows that when i do – it’s because she had been really bad. I am usually very calm.. and when i scold her.. it’s in chinese – but that doesn’t mean that I am calm .. i just make an effort to stay calm and neutral tone .. even when i am agitated. Effort is needed as parents – to ensure you send out the right signal to your kid. I never want my kid to grow up .. thinking that her mother is crazy.. and her father is a grouch – neither do i want her to think that she is not wanted in our life – just because she gets naughty a few hours a day. Because no matter what – you wanna build self confidence not to the extend that your kid turn into a bully at school lah. But yes, a balance is required .. and effort must be taken – if you want kids or have kids.

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Kid With Conscience or A Good Head On Her Shoulder?

The other day, I turned around while going on the treadmill and Chloe had just finished her dinner and trying to get to some stuff besides the computer table. She was quietly doing something behind me .. and when i turned around.. i saw her using a eraser from the back of her pencil rubbing it against the wall. The first thing that came into my mind was the kid must have been drawing on the wall – so I asked her .. “what are you doing?” .. i wasn’t shouting or anything.. but it made her jumped.

She quickly screeched and said “it was an accident .. mom..!!” in which i replied .. drawing on the wall isn’t an accident !” In which she replied – “i was trying to pick up something .. and my pencil slide on the wall and it marked the wall a little – i was just trying to clean it. I wasn’t drawing on the wall! i would never do that”

That actually set me thinking – actually – even when Chloe was very young, she never drew on the wall. She did put stickers on my coffee table though – but nope she didn’t jump on our couch nor our bed .. or even when Sarah invited her to jump on her bed .. when they had a playdate – she had said “no thank you” .. and when i asked her why she didn’t .. she had explained that it wasn’t very nice. So yes, we’ve raised a kid with conscience ? or a good head on the shoulder? I can’t complain eh.

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2010 Is Finally Here !

So the year 2009 has come to an end.. and 2010 is here finally. Should i say finally? well, kinda! although we did pretty good overall for the store, especially the last few months, after we put everything into perspective – I have to say personally – we were a bit stretched. But in 2010, we looked into email archiving services for my food blog because I have way too many fans/friends there.

Well, in 2009 – chloe started with a new preschool – right up to the summer holiday. She then went to summer camp both at the Y and the Youth Center but both didn’t work out well, because she wanted to bring her sitter a long – which defeats the purpose of helping her to be more independent. We did go for a short break last year to the city but it was way too short. Then Chloe started school in her new school – and we had to let her sitter go (we didn’t have enough hours for her). Follow by the kid bothering my Chloe and then she came down with a bladder infection – and the many meetings with the school to try and settle chloe in nicely.

During Chloe’s winter break we managed fabulously and even went for different events with family and friends. We also managed to get all our Christmas shopping done for Chloe’s friends and for our customers. Plus we are darn proud that we made a huge contribution to Chloe’s school. For this year, I’m hoping to take more care of our health and spend more time with Chloe. My new year’s resolution ? Bo Chup!