Like my mother-in-law said.. “yer no spring chicken yer know!” and so very true. At 43 yrs of age, definitely by no means a spring chicken. But i’m a spring, spring chicken when it comes to mothering.. and know hows of bringing up a young kid. There are alot of things I still don’t know and don’t know if i am doing it right but as you all know i’m no angel and yes, i do raise my voice at the brat .. albeit not often (enough). But still, i want to do my best for her, whether it’s health or school and just about everything like all you wonderful mummies out there.
So here’s a little insight of how i feel as a mum of a kid who is 4 yrs 8 months old and first time in school. No pre-school, no day care, no kindergarten for the last 4.5 yrs, this is absolutely the first time, she is away from home for 6hrs on her own. For a child who don’t even stay at Grammie’s house when we are not there or go to the candy store with her babysitter who had been babysitting her for more than 6 months then, i would have to say, I’m darn proud of her.
How I feel after a week..?? i still feel a little lost on Friday after we sent her to school and she hugged us and all. If i could, i wanna keep her with me.. all the time or just for another year. But i know she is ready to learn new stuff and make new friends and for me to deprive her of it, it wouldn’t be fair. Every morning, when i see her put away her bookbag, her lunch and take off her jacket and walked into class, i wanna cry. It’s all so overwhelming…! sad and happy at the same time. Worry, anxious & pleased all at once, so hard to explain and so hard to describe. But I know i have to learn to let go even though i still wait anxiously for 2.15pm to come and to pick her up from school. Does it get any easier after 7 days..?? not at all, every morning, i have to put up a brave front for her, so she doesn’t see me sad or crying. But Chloe and I will get there together eh…??