Category: Family/From the Heart

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Does Everything REALLY Happen For A Reason?

Often it is the deepest pain that empowers one to grow into your highest self – so I heard many times. But does one really have to go thru’ the pain of death or sickness to become one’s best? If it is true then it has gotta be the hardest lesson one has to go thru’ and no one in my opinion should go thru’ something so painful as health, sickness, and death. But of course in the perfect world, this ain’t gonna happen

Some ppl also said that one day, everything will make perfect sense, really?? But I guess, for now, one just got to live life at its fullest and do what makes one happy eh? And I’m trying to look at things even more simply and happily but sometimes it does get hard. I wanna do the right thing for everyone but sometimes others do not see it that way but do I wanna care what others think ? No not really , unless they are my spouse and kid , everyone else don’t matter.

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Eulogy For My Father-In-Law

Hi, my name is XXX and I’m Budd’s daughter-in-law. Since he has always said that I’m bossy, I think it’s befitting for me to do the eulogy. I know Budd doesn’t like long eulogies, so I’m going to keep it really short. Firstly, I would like to thank everyone so much for being here this afternoon to support our family.

Budd was a kind and generous man, he never said no to anything I asked of him even if he didn’t like it. He would reply “I suppose”. I’ve asked Budd to make me a flower bed at our cottage and he did it for me. I asked him to make a coat hanger on a nice solid piece of wood, and he did it. I asked him to grow some okra for me and he did it. During his illness, I asked him not to die on me and he tried his best to make it through. I told him I wasn’t ready to let him go, so he said to me… he will try. My father-in-law never said no to me except when I asked him for mahjong money, but even then when I was doing radiation in Halifax and was so bored and asked him to sponsor me for my mahjong, he said ok.

Budd loved his sons Chris and Richard and granddaughter Chloe very much and would do anything for them. He knew how much Chloe loves peas, corn, strawberries, and raspberries, so he would have them ready for her every summer. He was a good friend to many, he was smart and always had something knowledgeable to share. You would always learn something new from conversations with him. Budd had a good sense of humor as well as an eye for good-looking women and he never had a bad thing to say about anyone. He was the best father-in-law anyone could ask for and I was privileged to have spent 21 years with him. I want everyoneto know how important he was to me, I’m going to miss him dearly but I know that he is no longer in pain and is back with Olivette now.

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Just When I Thought ….

Just when I thought that everything is gonna be better from now on and easier, we found out that my father-in-law was very sick. Yes, so sick that he can’t drink the bottle of vodka that we had gotten him during Father’s Day. That was when it hit me that he was very very sick. My FIL never refused vodka – any kind to be exact for the 21 years that I’ve known him, so when he told me he cannot stomach the vodka, I knew there and then that something was really wrong. My gut feeling wasn’t good at all about it.

Fast forward, he did go to the hospital, had brain surgery for his tumor behind his head, didn’t wake up immediately but finally did, gave us a huge scare. We headed up to the city immediately to visit him, he recovered from that and came back to the hospital in town. Was doing so so well, and they discharged him and less than 10 days was back in the hospital by ambulance because he didn’t have the strength to lift himself up.

After much tests, they concluded that he had a c. difficile virus that attacked his colon. It was a wicked virus and my FIL fought the virus as best as he could. I know that till the end, he wanted to make it and he left us on the 9th August 2021.

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Father’s Day 2021

So Father’s Day is a few days away and on my facebook page, I see and am friends with a lot of upstanding fathers. I am so happy that there are so many good fathers out there including my spouse and his father – my father-in-law.

But of course, I cannot help but think of my own dad who was never there for me or my siblings. It’s actually quite sad for him because we were all good kids and we turn out pretty good despite not having him in our lives.

And I’m happy to tell everyone from my past and present what a good dad the spouse is to the kid. I cannot ask for a better dad for my kid, in fact, I think he is better with the kid than I am. Not only is he there for her , but he pays for everything the kid needs. He brings her to the doctors, the dentist and any appointments she has and pick her up and drop her off religiously to anywhere she wants to go. Understanding her and never forcing her to do anything she doesn’t want nor embarrassing her in front of her friends like her mom does. LOL.

Yes, anyone can father kids but to be a real dad – not many ppl are up to it. And I can proudly say that my kid’s Dad is the best to her.

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Searching For God At Our Convenience

Humans are weird – don’t you think. I used to make fun of a girlfriend who would go to church when she was separated from her husband years ago but when she got back together with her husband, she stopped going to church. So she conveniently forgot about God ? Or did she finished using God and had no need for him, now that she is happy again?

Well, well, little did I know, years later when I found out I had cancer, I bargain with God too, that if my biopsy wasn’t cancer, I promised to go to Church with my entire family every Sunday. I started praying too, I started reading the Daily Bread – I started seeking for God, seeking for His comfort, seeking for help.

Of course, I still had cancer, I still had to do chemo, I still had to do radiation and I still had to go thru’ all the horrid stuff but God did carry me thru’. And of course, like others, I too seek God at my convenience. I too conveniently forget to read our Daily Bread until later in the day. ( I do still get to it everyday) but I am less enthusiastic ? or has it become less important because we already made used of God for what we want?

Are all humans so selfish and only do things to benefit ourselves ? I’m trying not to be that kind of God believer. I do believe in a higher power, I do believe there is a God but I also gotta constantly remind myself, to not seek God only at my convenience and only when I need something. The Higher power isn’t there for that. So what is the Higher power there for ?

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4 Yrs Later

Yes, it had been quite a while since I last journal. I wonder why I stopped – was it because I was too busy or was it because I didn’t want some folks in this town to misconstrue what I wrote and take it wrongly.

But hey! at 56 years old and fighting cancer this very moment, I do not care what or who reads what and take things wrongly. I cannot be bothered. Life is too short to worry about other people. I live for now and for myself and my family not for you , or you or you.

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OMG ! It’s March 2016 Already !

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Yes ! Life happened !  And of course , we had a nasty virus on our blogs and websites that was encrypted into our blogs automatically and apparently the virus had been dormant till now.  The script was in place a few years ago as far as we can see it and all of a sudden, it decided to create havoc in all of our blogs.  The spouse took time to clean out all the blogs , and if you must know , I have more than a few blogs that I use for monetizing purpose.  Yes , yes ! I make money thru’ blogging – bite me !

 And of course, Chinese New Year came about and we had to co-ordinate the celebration with our Asian friends , plus Chloe had some health issues and a girlfriend had and online boyfriend issue that actually left me quite perturbed and lost of words.  But lesson to be learned her , never , never play match – maker online or offline because you are caught in the middle of it and boyyy!  you kenna shit for nothing.   But you also get to see who your true friends are and who’ve got your back, so all in all , it was a good lesson learned.  You would think at almost 51 years old , I would have seen it all and done it all and avoided it all right?  But nope !  I guess one can be stupid still at 51.

 Anyhow,  my consolations are , the spouse, the kid and many of my friends had been very supportive throughout it all and I cannot ask for a better spouse , kid and friends .  Like the saying goes, you can never lose a true friend, you just find out who are the ones who are not.  And business continue to thrive and I was featured recently in a local article on Facebook – stoke !  And I managed to get a massage , my hair colored , manicure , pedicure  and all kind of good stuff done to my body.  I even got to play catch up with my girlfriends.  But I learned how to take are of myself and my family first and always ask for help from your neighbors because I’ve got some awesome neighbors now.

 

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Lemonade To Fund Raise

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My father – in – law , Chloe’s grampie is the best man I’ve come to know after PB.  He made Chloe a lemonade stand as soon as I asked him to and also made a flower bed for my cottage , all because I asked him to.  I can never asked for a better father-in-law , not because he does things I asked him for but because he really loves me for who I am – even though he calls me the Chinese Jew. hehehe!  I enjoy it all because I know he calls me that because I’m family.

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Anyhow, Grampie build the lemonade stand for Chloe, so that she can sell some lemonade and do some fund-raising during the summer.  My father -in-law drove the lemonade stand all the way from his place to town even though he doesn’t like coming to town that often.  The fund-raising part we didn’t really figure what to fund raise for before summer but PB and I wanted to teach Chloe to grow up and empathy  as well as with morals.

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Of course, the girls also want to have fun.  We rope in Jessica from the Chinese restaurant to come help because she is such an awesome kid.  And guess who visited the lemonade stand on a cloudy day of the Vintage car parade.  Yes ! the Seafest Princesses and what a treat it was for the girls !  they were so happy.

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Anyhow, the girls fund raised $101 , for the family who lost their home in a fire in Richmond Road.

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The girls then handed the money to the mother of the family – Simone.  She came to collect the money a couple of days later and was very appreciate and hugged Chloe for her kind deed.

So yes, this summer, we taught Chloe something new and a lesson for her to continue on a yearly basis now , to raise fund for a charitable purpose.  It doesn’t need to be a huge amount of money, but it would definitely means that she would have to work at it and know her purpose in life is not just about herself but to help the less fortunate along the way.

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Father’s Day Present

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Yes, I’m a little late with this because we have been really busy.  In fact, I only gave the present to PB a day after because dear Chloe was fussing so much, I forgot what I wanted to get for PB the day before Father’s day.  Sometimes, Chloe can be a baby and as much as I want to stop her from whining, we just bring her home straight away.

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Anyway, I did managed to get out there the next day and bought tons of chocolate for him because I know for sure that he would eat all of them.

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But the real father’s day gift that I wanted to get for him is this new mini segwey 2 wheels and it really didn’t cost me much since I got to the direct supplier.  And even though this comes out from China, we loved it.