Category: Random Ranting

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Left Side Face Pain

I’m writing this for reference for my kid in the future – in case i’m no longer around and she is experiencing the same symptoms.

Many years ago, I experienced this pain on my left side of my face, nearer to my ears than my nose and I thought I had a toothache. After checking on my tooth, there was nothing rotting or bad at all, so I didn’t know what to think. I took lots of tylenol and advil for the longest time and it didn’t help. One day, I woke up and felt like I might have a cold coming along and took some cold tablets like Berkeley and the pain lessen. I now know that it was a sinus inflammation. Therefore, if you even have pain on the left side of your face or eyes, it may be a sinus infection and not some other thing.

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Tamoxifen

So I started taking Tamoxifen a few weeks ago, as per my oncologist’s instructions. I was kinda hesitant because of all the side effects I read online. But one has gotta do what one gotta do in my case – to heal, to survive, to rid cancer from coming back.

Is Tamoxifen 100% gonna keep cancer away? I don’t really know and no one can promise me anything as per the oncologist department. But if I don’t take Tamoxifen for the next 5 years the chances of cancer coming back is higher in the risk factor. Therefore, I’ve decided to take it.

Are there any changes in my body and stuff? Not much I think except for more discharge and I don’t even know if they are related. In the meantime, I’m gonna keep an eye on everything that is going on in my body and will update everyone.

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My Mother

Mother’s Day just came and went by and on that day, I cannot help but think of my own mom. Do not get me wrong, I don’t think my mom is a bad mom but she was definitely different. And even though she was treated with biased gender animosity, she too treated us, girls, with the same biasness. Sad but true, so the boys in our family always came first, no matter what.

But my mom did love all of us in her own way but differently. And I don’t blame her coz’ she had a really hard life and my dad wasn’t a good man at all, who didn’t give her any support in raising us. So we were practically raised by a single mom. When we were younger, we did not understand all the hardship she had to go thru’ but now as a mom I do. And I have full support from my spouse and extended family and friends.

I’m definitely luckier than my mom coz’ I had a little bit more education and wasn’t willing to stay in a bad relationship like my mom. I think during those days, women felt that they had nowhere to turn to but in this day and age, no woman should stay in a bad relationship especially one as irresponsible as my dad. I’m luckier because my partner is a good father and a good provider for both my child and I. My extended family is good to me and even though I cannot differentiate sometimes if my mom was a good mom or a bad one, I just have to remember that she tried her best to bring us up the best she knew how.

As for me being a mom, I credit my kid’s upbringing to her dad because he had always been a great example to/for her and good blood from his side of the family. I think my side of the family is bad blood. LOL. And as my kid’s mom, I just want her to be happy and to live her life to its fullest and not fear anything. Then my job is done as a mom.

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Superwoman I’m Not

Nope, I ain’t no superwoman but it feels good to clean and purge the house because it is so needed. I think we accumulate too many things in our lives. And there are just too many things that we ain’t using and wasted our money on. If I could turn the clock back, maybe I would do things differently? I don’t really know but we do indulge in a lot of stuff as I can see when I’m purging. And that ain’t good. Hopefully, I’m able to change my habits and those of buying stuff for my kid because I didn’t get things I wanted when I was a kid and trying to compensate myself thru’ my kid.

Yes, I’m tired and I know I shouldn’t be doing so much (much for this instant because I’m recovering) but I can’t just sit and do nothing. Especially this lockdown , I ain’t gonna waste time like I did the last lockdown. No way … I better be useful if I didn’t have to go to work.

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My Very First Earthquake

cats

We just got back from the cottage and finishing up a late lunch when we felt the floors rumbled beneath us.  At first I thought it was some heavy vehicle coming down our street and never gave it a second thought.  But PB said it was all over FB that we just experienced an earthquake.  O. M . G. !  I never thought I would experience it here or in my lifetime coz’  I lived in quite safe places around the world.

It lasted like a few seconds and everything went back to normal.  I heard that the neighboring town had it worst than us.  I don’t know what to think to be honest?  Are we still safe here ?  or do we have to do something?  what do one do when one get an earthquake ?  seriously, we’ve never thought about it at all.  But since we’ve experience our very first earthquake, we should most definitely have a back up plan ?

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Crazy Busy

Yes! I had been crazy busy, no time to even go trim my hair or reshape my eyebrows nor a facial before Christmas.  The store had been so busy with customers shopping and buying everything off our shelves.  No complaining though but juggling Chloe and her many events that she is into and the manning the store, housework and then my online advertising work – definitely kept me up a lot of nights.  But I’m managing and once the Christmas rush is over, I am sure everything will return to normal.  In the meantime, friends and family from home had been sending tons of presents and stuff from Asia, so that I won’t be so home sick.  I’m definitely blessed.  I am also negotiating with my Spanish boss about my role with the new company – so busy, busy for sure.  Next year, I will be flying out occasionally with the engineers to USA whenever the job requires.  Yes, an adventure and something new next year – can’t wait.

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Bed Hunting

I went bed hunting with my girlfriend today because her ex- mother-in-law wanted to get back the bed frame that she is currently using.  Yes, even though she knows that it is her son’s fault that she is losing everything, this ex-MIL wants to get as much things outta her as possible – yet, she still thinks that her ex- MIL and her ex-in laws are good people.  *slap forehead*.

Anyhow, we didn’t find the right bed for her nor frame, so in the end we decided to save money, she can buy the headboard and she can use our double bed that we have spare in our basement for now. I love my g/f like a sister and if I can I wanna help as much as possible.  But she really do need to be stronger and take a stand for herself but how do you teach someone to be a B.I.T.C.H.

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She Confuses Me

Yes! this is exactly the state I am in with Chloe’s teacher – she does confused me.  Why?  well, the other day, I had sent a message with the TA – to ask her to speak with Chloe about another student who might be accidentally hitting Chloe during line up if he was not careful.  Sure it wasn’t a big deal, some tolerance is required to be learned by Chloe at some point in her everyday life.  But it was because I had checked with Chloe if her home room teacher had been checking if she was doing alright in class, that I found out that she haven’t done so for some time now, that I had gently reminded her home room teacher to speak with Chloe.

So anyhow, I got a call from her the same day when Chloe got home, and she told me that she had indeed spoken to Chloe which I was grateful for but she wanted to remind me to back off – so that Chloe can speak up for herself (which was quite alright)  but it was the next question that she asked me that confused me.  She asked if I was ok sending chloe to school on her own *  roll eyes*  At the back of my mind – i went huh???!!!???  where was that coming from and where was she going ???  confused right?  if i wasn’t ok with chloe going to school can I go sit in class with her?  if i wasn’t ok – what can I do? or what does she wants to do?

Yes !  what a confusing question right?  anyhow, I’ve decided to let PB take the lead from now on but when the important issues with Chloe – who is my daughter – I’m still gonna speak right up – no teachers or principal is gonna stop me from keeping my kid safe.

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Blame It On The Asian Mom Again!

So we had the parents and teacher’s meet 2 days ago and although Chloe didn’t do too bad – all As except in English – her composition wasn’t that good according to her teacher.  Her home room teacher then said something about – it might be difficult because of the way we speak at home – and turned towards me – meaning it’s because of my accent?  or because I’m Asian – so I’m deemed not to speak good enough English?  She said sometimes we write the way we talked and i do agree with her but when she turned and looked at me – does that mean that she was saying that it had to do with me?  Yup ! I try not to take a lot of things personally these days but one cannot help but wonder right?

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She Came But Didn’t Visit

Chloe’s godma came all the way from Toronto for a week vacation but she didn’t come visit chloe at all.  Of course, Chloe was disappointed and we were working the entire week but was available in the evenings but nope no sign of her godma.  *sigh* what to do and what to say right?  I comforted Chloe and explained that her Godma must be really busy – but of course, she didn’t understand it and sulk the entire day.  We ended up bringing her for ice cream and the park and then YMCA for a swim and some playtime – to appease her.  Poor Chloe !