Category: The Other Half

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It Hasn’t Been Easy For Him

I looked back at some of the photos that I had taken of PB – and there are so many that he never really had a smile on him – besides the ones – from when we first got together. The pictures we took then were genuine smile – happy ones – but after being together for so many years – the smiles weren’t real anymore. I don’t really know if he is unhappy or what? but for sure I know it isn’t easy for him either as it is not for me. As much as I want to go home and bitch about it all the time – it must not be easy for him to keep hearing me nag about it all the time and making him feel like he failed me.

But when I nag and long for home it wasn’t meant to make him feel bad or that he failed me – but because I need him to know that I really need to make a trip home. 11 yrs is a long time – to not go home for a break. I know it’s not easy because of the business and all and we are just getting caught up and starting to make bigger plans for our future – and our trip back home – may put us right back from the start – I know all that. Therefore – PB really needs to let me make trip to the city – else it’s just gonna drive me nuts – not even having frozen dim sum!

This picture was taken during the weekend – and this smile was the one I recognized from when we first got together. I guess it was a happy weekend for us – even though we didn’t make it up the city – but at least we shopped and visited the Leblanc’s and he did everything that I want. I hope to see PB smile like that all the time too – but I do miss home and especially the food. *shrug* So if you think the other side is greener – think again.

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Shopping In The City

So we had planned to leave for the city yesterday and then head back today – but nope we didn’t go – because the rain came – and I didn’t want PB to drive in the rain – scary. But yes – we wanted to start shopping for xmas gift now – else we would not get what we want for the people we want to share Christmas with. I know you must be saying – Christmas shopping already??? but if you know us – and how busy we get during Christmas time – there is just no way to get out to the city when it draws nearer to Christmas. We were so busy – that when I was having Chloe in December some 6 year ago – I wished we could postponed the delivery date – hahahah!!! So yes! we are going to attempt to go up the city again soon – Christmas shopping this year – is going to be early !

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Change Yourself

So I saw a psychologist about my anxiety attacks – which I haven’t had for a long time now – but my family doctor figures I should talk to someone – and maybe – they can teach me methods to control my anxiety attacks – besides the medication I am taking. For those who are wondering – I had asked for treatment and medication on my own – because I pride myself as being able to identify a problem and try to nip its bud from the beginning. I didn’t want my anxiety attacks to affect chloe mostly because I had it bad the last time I experienced it.

Anyhow, at the back of my mind – I know exactly what the problem is – and all these years – I’ve been pushing it at the back of my mind. I’m able to identify the problem and I cannot ask PB to change for me – because I have in the past – so this time I’m going to change for myself and learn to take even greater care of myself first. I shall strive to have the “tidak apa” attitude from now on – and only do things that will first take care of myself. You cannot hope for others to help you – you have to change – only you can change yourself – to help with your health situation. So there – I realized that – and hope it isn’t too late. And yes – I missed home and my friends back home – the familiarity – the food – so I will strive to go home soon for a long visit. Wait for me Singapore!

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The Man & His Gadgets

PB decided that he would get an iphone this time since his cellphone’s contract is ending soon. Why he needs an iphone? he said it’s easier when we need to be out of town for a short while – we don’t need to bring our netbook – we can use the iphone to check our emails and go online. Killing two birds with one stone – so he said – plus it didn’t cost him an extra – just another 3 years contract – which he normally does anyways – no lost to him – he said. But with this new iphone – he will be getting an iphone warranty because knowing him – he may just break the glass screen from sitting on it – when he forgets to take it out of his pocket. I’m kinda excited to see the iphone too – after all, it’s a new gadget for me too – hehe!

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Not Romantic But ..

Nope not romantic but he washes the toilet – nope not romantic ! but he vaccums the floor – nope not romantic but he cooks me hash browns for breakfast. Nope PB isn’t romantic nor a very thoughtful fella – he wouldn’t ask you if you were hungry or if you needed food. I guess he expects me to get my own food when I am hungry or say something when I am. If I asked him if he was hungry – he grunts – i think sometimes he tries to ignore my questions – so I asked him even more in the pretense that I had forgotten that I had already asked him. But yes – he does the necessary – sometimes – without being asked too – woohoo!!!

In any kind of relationship – I don’t know if there is one that is perfect – but on the other hand what kind of relationship do you want? Someone who is romantic but not responsible? someone who is romantic but doesn’t lift a finger to help with the housework or the kids? someone who is romantic but don’t pay the bills? But who doesn’t like to be serenaded, wine and dine and have romantic getaways right? but at this point in our life – while the money is coming in and we are paying the bills – that is how it is going to be for a while. In the meantime, I can always treat myself to a thing or two. Ssshhhh.. i did! muhahahaha!!!

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Stop ! And Watch Your Kids

Yesterday evening – Chloe, PB and I were in the computer room and then she was talking about something and had the cutest, cheekiest smile – and I caught that cheeky smile in her – like the ones she had yesterday. Sometimes, I managed to capture it on photo – sometimes I don’t and I feel like the luckiest mom – because moments like that are priceless. So I asked PB – did you see that expression on Chloe’s face – in which of course PB did not – for his is oblivious most times – hahah! so I told PB – he is missing all the good stuff – coz’ they don’t stay young forever like this and they don’t have cheeky smiles like that forever too.

Kids are so precious and like I always said – God’s gift ! Chloe if you know her – you will know she is the cutest and sweetest kid. Sure she can be a brat – but most times – she is a pretty funny, mischievous and smart kid. She haven’t spent a lot of time with her grandparents – because for the last 6 yrs – she refused to go on her own to visit. This year in March – she decided that she would visit on her own – but come summer – her grandparents were too busy to take her every week. Now that fall is here – Grammie don’t even have one day a week to spend with her because she is still busy. I told PB – they are gonna miss out on the good times – she don’t stay this cute for very long. Soon she will grow older and she won’t wanna go anywhere with us – but her friends. Have you stopped and watch your kids lately? they don’t stay this cute forever. Stop – don’t miss out!

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Welcome Fall 2010

Well, the fall is here – the weather is getting colder in this small little town and Chloe had been in school for almost 3 weeks now. She settled into school this year – a lot quicker than we expected. In fact, this year – we see more changes in my little princess – no more teddy at school and no more sippy cup and no more fussing about school.

While Chloe is settling into school – we all got sick last week – and with no help at the store – and Chloe’s grammie couldn’t take her on Saturdays – it was definitely hard on us – but as usual – we survived and feel a lot better now. I also took a bad fall at the store last week – while playing with Chloe – because I didn’t wanna leave her to play on her own for too long. So because of the fall – I couldn’t do very much – knees with rug burn and the entire hand from shoulder to wrist all bruised and unable to do much either – but we survived the week.

The store had been busy – and people are already shopping for Christmas – and us – we are making the most of our new routines and new school year but most importantly – we continue to focus on our health and and my fitness routine. Also, I’ve come to a new resolution and will think first for myself and Chloe before any other things – from this day on – I will strive to do one thing – and that is to bring Chloe and myself home to visit family and friends. Soon everyone – soon – I will be able to travel – on my own with Chloe and go home for a much needed break.

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Seeing The Positive Of Your Child

I often complained that PB don’t see enough of the positive side of Chloe – instead – he likes to growl at her. I know he doesn’t do it intentionally but that’s the way he is. To me – he sees the bratty side of Chloe – the side where she wants to get into his way all the time and seeking for attention all the time. To me – he sees a child who has no manners and interrupts us whenever we have to talk to a customer. I can fully understand PB’s frustration sometimes – I’m no saint either and of course – we want to teach Chloe the right ways too – but she is but a child – and sometimes I find that PB forgets that. I too, forget that sometimes – and have to constantly remind myself.

But I am able to constantly see the positive side of Chloe – like today – I brought her to the park and she wanted to pick chestnuts with another kid – and she was quite a distance from me – but I need not shout for her to come back – she motioned to me that she was going further but when she saw that i shook my head – saying no – she told the other kid – that she wasn’t allowed to go further. Now that i call positively amazing ! to me – I think she was really sensible.

This evening – after supper I wasn’t feeling good – and told chloe i was gonna lie down for a bit. Sure she came in several times and insisted that I have some light on – in the bedroom even though my door was open. But that’s only because she is a kid and she needed some sort of assurance. She came in several more times and woke me up each time – but I see the positive side in her – she still let me lie down for a bit. Are you seeing the positive side in your kid? I’m trying to make PB see those positive side in Chloe and not growl at her so much – just because she is being a kid. What about you?

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Almost Perfect Life

I told PB – I don’t want a perfect life – I want an almost perfect life only! hahhaha!! yes – it’s me going on again. After all, no one has a perfect life right? but one can always wished for an almost perfect right with Mr Almost Perfect. So what am I trying to say here? Many people write and asked me about migrating to Canada – and they asked me – but it’s better than in Malaysia or Singapore right? No corruption and not so much stress from the over-achieving standards required by the Singaporeans?

I guess the grass is always greener on the other side – I watched a video this morning made by John Chow about his dotcom lifestyle and I also read Karen Cheng’s blog this afternoon – they all looked so perfect – and at the back of my mind – I wanna be in California – by the water – and like Karen Cheng in Australia/Sydney but I’m not – I’m in Canada – where it’s starting to get cold already and fall haven’t even began.

My toasted bread as you can see is not always perfectly toasted each morning – either. PB doesn’t smile always either – neither is he always romantic. Chloe is not always a good kid – she can be a brat at times. I don’t get enough rest neither do I get enough help with Chloe like I would if I was back home with family and friends. Nor do I get the food I wanna eat so much. Almost perfect life – I’m far from it – but things could have been worst right? a lot worst! so no – I’m not gonna dwell on the negative – and migrating may seems a perfect solution for a lot of people – but it’s not perfect – no where is. So I hope this answer some of your questions?

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Making Time To Take Care Of Myself

Certainly not easy – and I’m sure every mom out there can agree with me. But today – I went for a regular check up with my family doctor – and she too agree that I have to take time to take care of myself and my needs. She said I should go and take a short break – I agreed with her totally – didn’t do nothing this summer – because PB was too busy with the store. 11 yrs in Canada and when i left my watch at the store last night – i realized the rest of it 4 of them that i have – all didn’t have working batteries. If I were home – it would certainly have been different – i could bring it to a watch store and get them replaced. Here I have to depend on PB to get the batteries and do it for me – no watch store here *sigh*. So yes! I believe my health problems stems from not being able to do thing for myself and being efficient. Time to make some changes – and first step already been taken – losing weight and eating right. The next a short vacation – soon. Stay tuned !